My inner Christina

8:44 PM

Aside from Blair Waldorf, I'd like to consider myself a Christina Yang kind of girl. I like my future career, I'm hard working, I don't do well in relationships, and I'm way too over confident when I shouldn't be. I think another word for Christina might be selfish.

I really don't think that's a bad thing, though. She values herself before anything else. She knows what she wants and she gets it. She doesn't run away from risks. She's smart.



But then there's the qualities I don't like. The one's that I struggle with. Sometimes my selfishness gets in the way of the fairytale I have planned for myself. Don't get me wrong, I dont rely on a relationship or crave being married with children, but I think everyone has something in them that wants to be loved. I just haven't figured out how to completely open that part of me up yet. 


I mean, Christina goes through ten seasons never really settling down, and that scares me. That's the part I don't want. I want to figure out how to balance my independence with my desire to have a life partner. 

                             

What I don't want to lose, is that confidence, and that independence that made Christina unstoppable. I'm fortunate enough to have people in my life that understand how I am, and support me in all that I do, I just need to make sure I reciprocate that support.

Because even though Christina is the example of a person I want to be, I still need something more. I need what Christina is missing - love. 





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