3 Things That I've Come To Realize

  1. As much as you want to, you can't make people like you: 
    I think we all have this subconscious urge to be liked by everyone we meet, and that notion really gets us in trouble. If you aren't living under a rock, you're coming in contact with lots of people - some who will just flat out not like you. That boy you have a crush on might not want to go on a date with you. That new member might not want you to be their "big sis'. That corporate businessman might not want to hire you for a job. But that's okay, because without a doubt the earth continues to spin and time continues to push forward and you will be okay. You don't have to be liked by everyone; that was never deemed a required life achievement, and quite frankly I think I'd be overwhelmed if every person in the world liked me. When you're struggling with people not liking you, whether it be romantically or as a friend, turn to those people who do like you, and who lift you up when you are down. Those people matter, not the people you are bending over backwards to impress, only to get disappointing when you are pushed aside for someone or something better. Engulf yourself with the people who want to be around you, even if the numbers are fewer than you want.
  2. It is vital that you learn to be by yourself:
    I remember dating a boy in 2013 who sucked the life right out of me. I was head over heels in love and wanted to do whatever I could to make him happy. When he cheated on me (multiple times) and left me (multiple times), I felt completely lost. I didn't even recognize who I was. It was like I couldn't function without him, and looking back, I wish I could smack my past self in the head for being so silly. I didn't need this person to feel whole. I didn't need anyone to dictate if I was 100 percent of a person or not. Being by myself isn't a scary thing anymore, and I think it's done more good than bad. Take some time to understand yourself, feel comfortable with yourself, and to love yourself. I often hear the quote "I ave found my other half in him/her" an it kind of irks me. I understand feeling love for a person and knowing that you want to be with them for the rest of your life, but we're you 50 percent of a human before this person came into your life? I don't think so. You we're 100 percent YOU when you came into this world, and you can be 100 percent YOU whether you have a significant other, a best friend, a supportive family, or not. You can be 100 percent of a person alone, because you are strong enough.
  3. Loving yourself is a life long process:
    As a teenager I was taught to wait. Wait for when you turn 18. Wait for when you go to college. Wait for when you turn 21. Wait for the love of your life. Wait until you're happy with yourself. Then things will be better. It didn't benefit me in any way to do this. I sat on my ass and wished away the days I was given until I could get to the point I was waiting for, maybe then I would love myself. Maybe then I would be happy. Maybe then I'd have tons of money. I soon realized that waiting wasn't the answer. For example, learning to love the person that I am took some time. I think I assumed it would magically happen when I got a boyfriend, or moved away to college, but it didn't. It wasn't something that just showed up at my door - it took work. It took time and it took drive and it is still taking time. Society gives us these people to look up to and aspire to, but I rarely hear society telling us to "love yourself first". Maybe because society knows that loving yourself is a journey that takes forever. It takes waking up each day and smiling in the mirror, and surrounding yourself with positive people. It takes patience and tenderness. It is not something that comes to stay; it comes and goes as it pleases, and I don't think people will ever be 100 percent happy with themselves 100 percent of the time, but that's okay. All that matters is that you love yourself today.